I've been putting off writing this article for a while now.
Why? You ask.
Well, to be honest, attraction is a fairly simple mechanism. But explaining it can be complicated.
So I've decided to put my excuses aside, sit down, and DESTROY any confusion you currently feel about what women want in a man.
To sleep with a woman, you must meet three criteria.
Now for the record, the criteria is not really provided by women in
general. It is a criteria that evolved through natural selection,
survival of the fittest etc.
But before I get to that I want to ask you a question...
Do you ever wonder how long you should wait BEFORE you call a woman up for a first date?
You DO wonder?
Ok. How about this...
Why do women seem to give such bad love advice?
Why do women say they want honesty... and then sleep with men that don't seem real interested in being honest?
Some compelling questions, no?
What I find interesting is that the answers to these questions are
not only logical, but scientifically verfiable in your own life.
When you finish reading this newsletter you will be able to check
out what I say for yourself, and see if what I say is true, or whether
I'm selling snake oil.
I find when I explain what I've learnt over the years to people,
it's like things are so obvious they can't believe that they didn't get
it till now!
Here we go!
To go from a first meeting to laying a woman, you must be able to
pass through stages. In fact to be specific, there are 3 stages you
must pass through.
I'm going to give them to you all at once:
The stages are: Status, Connection, Escalation.
Now, it's not quite as straight forward as I've made it appear here.
The stages are not neccessarily independant of one another. In fact,
your ability to "do" the last 2 stages effectively (connect &
escalate), can improve your status.
Mostly when you hear a woman talking about what she wants from a
man, you will hear her talk about things that are related to
In my opinion, most women throw themselves at high status males
(that have a lot of women to choose from) and who aren't particularly
interested in doing a whole lot of connecting.
So when a woman gives advice to men, she will really be giving
advice to the men that have broken her heart. The men that she still
obsess's over. The high status guys that have women to choose from,
high standards and ultimately lost interest in HER.
As a side note, next time you hear a woman complaining about one of
these guys, ASK her about him... and then spend some time with him (if
you can). Watch what he does. Ask him why he does it.
After all, this is the guy that got the girl.
To put things really simply "if you don't pass through a woman's
status filter NOTHING else matters". The best thing you can hope for is
"let's be friends".
Or is it?
Men that are excellent at connecting have high status in society today... don't they?
Think about some famous ones.
Let's take actors for a second.
Actors do ok with the girls in my opinion (I don't know about you,
but if Woody Allen can have girls chasing him SOMETHING unusual must be
Have you ever wondered exactly WHY a
profession as useless as acting pays so well?
I know I have.
I mean, what do actors DO anyway?
They stand around pretending to be someone else 12 hours a day. They
read lines they didn't write themselves. And the top few get paid
millions of dollars while women literally hurl themselves at them for a
chance to "get with brad" (or whoever).
But the truth is, as useless as they might seem, they are REVERED by society at large.
Did you notice Arnold Swarzenegger is now the governer of of California?
Or that Presidential candidate John Kerry was flanked on stage at
rallies with Robert D'Niro? Or that George Bush was flanked by x
What's going on here?
In my opinion, humans are very emotional creatures. We love to feel things!
As guys, we love to feel excited, competitive, successful and so on.
And we love to spend time with people that make us feel those things.
Actors aren't revered for their work ethic, they are revered because
they are very good at getting us to feel the emotions we want to feel.
And as you can see for yourself, that is worth A LOT.
Equally, women revere men that can connect with them emotionally.
That can listen to them, and understand them. Because unlike men, women
don't seek feelings of action, domination, success (I'm talking
generally here, of course SOME do)
Men that can give the feelings that they want.
The ability to make people feel things actually increases your value in society as a person.
That may sound a bit "cold and clinical", but I believe from what I've seen, it is 100% true.
Ok, now that you've deomonstrated status and gone through connecting... guess what...
You're STILL not getting laid!
Huh? But surely, if I can do all that, women will just throw themselves at me...
Well, you're not totally wrong.
If you have the same status as, say, Justin Timberlake... then yeah, women will do all the "hard work" (pun intended) for you.
But if you're a mere mortal like me, you are going to find out that you need to ESCALATE.
Your ability to escalate actually reassures the woman you are in fact a high status male.
You could walk up to a woman like George Clooney in Oceans 11... You
could then connect with that woman like Johnny Depp in Don Juan
But if you don't escalate, it will all be for nought.
Nothing. Nada. Zip.
Now if you're like most men I talk to, you probably resent that fact.
But instead of asking "why do I have to do it?"
How about you go "well, I don't like it, but I do like getting laid,
and John tells me I need to learn this stuff, so what the hell..."
And just do it.
Do it. Do it. Do it.
If you don't, won't or can't escalate (and I ask you, WHO can't escalate) then you won't be getting laid very much.
Escalation is simply the act of moving the "interaction" forward in some way.
Getting a phone number. Touching a shoulder.
Holding a hand... Getting your rocks off with her in the bathroom (that may be for the more
In fact, your ability to confidently escalate ALSO increases your status, much like your ability to connect.
Ever walk into a nightclub and watch an average looking guy walk up
to a girl and in a very short time start to "get physical" with her?
He is confident and proficient at physcially escalating.
He wasn't lucky. He was GOOD.
It's a skill, just like anything else.
And if you want to learn it, you need to start DOING it.
You know I responded to an email today from a guy that had gone out
for ONE evening and tried a few proven tactics (which didn't work first
try) and he wanted to know what he was "doing wrong".
I responded by asking him how many games of tennis he would need to play before he was "above average" in ability.
I haven't heard back yet, I think he's out meeting more women!
The point is, you have got to get out there and TRY.
You want high status? Then start taking more action!
Start taking more falls.
Start screwing up!
Listen, you could go out and read every book there is on this stuff, and your ability to implement any of it would be nill.
Trust me on this.
You will learn FAR MORE by having a basic understanding of the
principles (status, connection, escalation) and then trying some things
out, then by reading and waiting till your "really sure" you understand.
That day will never come.
Increase your status RIGHT NOW by walking past the next woman you see and saying "hi"
while you look her in the eye.
And don't stop until you've said "hi" to at least 100 women.
You will learn more from that then reading 10 books on the "psychology of attraction".
Don't talk. Don't think. Just do.