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How-To-Date


Take That Risk!

 By Dennis, Dr. Neder
 "Being a Man in a Woman's World"

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Many men and women aren't successful in meeting or dating because they aren't willing to take a risk - the risk to say "hello", the risk to say "yes", the risk to ask for a phone number, the risk to set-up a date, the risk to ask for what you want, etc. They want everything in a nice risk-free, safe container. I'm going to give you 10 reasons why you should become a risk taker in a moment.

What does risk mean to you? Ultimately it means to put yourself out there and open up to opportunities. The Chinese use the same symbols to mean "crisis" and opportunity. These literally translate to "Crisis is an opportunity riding the dangerous wind". If you're not taking advantage of opportunity, you're actually using your actions to fail.

When I talk about risk, I'm not suggesting that your hurl yourself off a building at the end of a rubber band. I'm talking about "measured risk" - that risk that will bring you greater value than you can lose. Dating is really all about this. It's really about the opportunity to get something you want that you don't already have while managing your risk.

Let's look at why you should take that risk:

If not now, when?

If you don't do something today to change the way things are, tomorrow is going to be the same. So will next week, next month, and next year. Of course, if you're happy about the way things are, then do nothing. On the other hand, what are you waiting for? Get going!

You're not so special as to fail every time!

Sure, you're special bunky! But, you're not so special that you can avoid success. The only way to do fail is to give up, or to never get started trying. So, you've got to get moving and active. Do something - even a small thing. Then, do something else. Once you get started, these actions become habit and you'll find that you're doing something to improve your life all the time.

You've got game!

If you're reading this on the Internet, you have a wealth of information available to you right now. Not only will this information help boost your confidence, but you can make all of this a game. Read what others have to say and find the advice that seems to work for you. Try things and keep score - this quickly becomes a game.

Your "Mark" Doesn't Want To Be Alone Anymore Than You Do!

This is an important point that many people miss. He or she doesn't want to be by themselves the rest of their lives any more than you do. So, you already have that leg-up - and something in common!

You're no safer trying to avoid risk than by seeking it!

Studies show that danger is all around us. Who would have thought that just sitting in your office in a skyscraper, you'd be at risk of losing your life? The victims of America's recent terrorist attack understand this only too well.

So, what do you really risk by seeking not risk? The possibility of not having what you really wanted from your life. The knowledge that you settled. The pain of watching others get what they want while you don't.

Get what YOU want, or accept what life gives you

Sure, it's "safe" to simply wait, but then you have to take what you get - if anything. If you set out to make things the way you want, you may fail, but if you're goals are big enough, you're going to succeed along the way!

For example, if you set your sights on hitting the roof, you may only get the side of the building. If you set your sights on the stars, you may only get the moon! On the other hand, the stars could be yours too! Not a bad trade off - a little risk for a lot of gain.

Life's short

You have a limited number of days here. Further, you don't know how big (or small) that number is. Of course, we all hope it is a very, very large number. But, you can't really plan for that effectively, and like the poet said, "tomorrow never comes", all you have is today. Get going!

Put failure into perspective.

What does failure mean? Does it mean embarrassment or does it mean the loss of an eye or a limb. The risk I'm talking about is absolutely minor. Maybe you'll get shot-down when you ask her for a date or maybe he'll turn out to be a jerk if you accept. But, what are the possible benefits? You might make a new friend, get that number or meet the mate you've been looking for.

Learn to succeed!

What if you could manage and reduce your risk? What if you could reduce it to almost nothing? You can! Arm yourself with information. Buy that book, read that article, ask that question - in short, get yourself educated.

On the other hand, don't WAIT until you ARE educated. Some people use their education as an excuse. They spend their lives collecting information, but never learn how to use it. Do you know that your doctor didn't really know how to treat illness when he or she left school? They spent all those years studying ABOUT diseases, symptoms and cures. They didn't spent much time at all learning HOW to cure. That's where you come in. Every patient is a new experiment.

As well, every new person you meet is a new experiment. Thus, gather up information, knowledge and experience; keep track of what works and what doesn't work - but GET TO WORK!

What do you have to lose?

Nobody likes to hear "no". Some people go out of their way to avoid "no's", but not wise people. Many salespeople actually make it their goal to get a certain number of "no's" everyday. Why would the focus on this? Because, if you're going after a number of "no's", you can't help but get "yes's" along the way.

Don't let fear rule your world - make it your ally. What do you have to lose? Being alone on Saturday night!


Copyright (c) 2005 Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved. Remington Publications For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com P.O. Box 10702 Glendale, CA 91209-3702 (818) 246-2058 Fax (818) 246-5431
About the author
uthor of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You
can write to me at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com
for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's
World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com

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Article Overview
What if you could manage and reduce your risk? What if you could reduce it to almost nothing? You can! Arm yourself with information. Buy that book, read that article, ask that question - in short, get yourself educated.


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