Many men and women aren't successful in meeting or dating because they
aren't willing to take a risk - the risk to say "hello", the risk to
say "yes", the risk to ask for a phone number, the risk to set-up a
date, the risk to ask for what you want, etc. They want everything in a nice
risk-free, safe container. I'm going to give you 10 reasons why you should
become a risk taker in a moment.
What does risk mean to you? Ultimately it means to put yourself out
there and open up to opportunities. The Chinese use the same symbols to mean
"crisis" and opportunity. These literally translate to "Crisis
is an opportunity riding the dangerous wind". If you're not taking advantage of
opportunity, you're actually using your actions to fail.
When I talk about risk, I'm not suggesting that your hurl yourself off a
building at the end of a rubber band. I'm talking about "measured
risk" - that risk that will bring you greater value than you can lose.
Dating is really all about this. It's really about the opportunity to get
something you want that you don't already have while managing your risk.
Let's look at why you should take that risk:
If not now, when?
If you don't do something today to change the way things are, tomorrow
is going to be the same. So will next week, next month, and next year. Of
course, if you're happy about the way things are, then do nothing. On the other
hand, what are you waiting for? Get going!
You're not so special as to fail every time!
Sure, you're special bunky! But, you're not so special that you can
avoid success. The only way to do fail is to give up, or to never get started
trying. So, you've got to get moving and active. Do something - even a small
thing. Then, do something else. Once you get started, these actions become
habit and you'll find that you're doing something to improve your life all the
You've got game!
If you're reading this on the Internet, you have a wealth of information
available to you right now. Not only will this information help boost your confidence,
but you can make all of this a game. Read what others have to say and find the
advice that seems to work for you. Try things and keep score - this quickly
becomes a game.
Your "Mark" Doesn't Want To Be Alone Anymore Than You Do!
This is an important point that many people miss. He or she doesn't want
to be by themselves the rest of their lives any more than you do. So, you
already have that leg-up - and something in common!
You're no safer trying to avoid risk than by seeking it!
Studies show that danger is all around us. Who would have thought that
just sitting in your office in a skyscraper, you'd be at risk of losing your
life? The victims of America's recent terrorist attack understand this only too
So, what do you really risk by seeking not risk? The
possibility of not having what you really wanted from your life. The knowledge
that you settled. The pain of watching others get what they want while you
Get what YOU want, or accept what life gives you
Sure, it's "safe" to simply wait, but then you have to take
what you get - if anything. If you set out to make things the way you want, you
may fail, but if you're goals are big enough, you're going to succeed along the
For example, if you set your sights on hitting the roof, you may only
get the side of the building. If you set your sights on the stars, you may only
get the moon! On the other hand, the stars could be yours too! Not a bad trade
off - a little risk for a lot of gain.
You have a limited number of days here. Further, you don't know how big
(or small) that number is. Of course, we all hope it is a very, very large
number. But, you can't really plan for that effectively, and like the poet
said, "tomorrow never comes", all you have is today. Get going!
Put failure into perspective.
What does failure mean? Does it mean embarrassment or does it mean the
loss of an eye or a limb. The risk I'm talking about is absolutely
minor. Maybe you'll get shot-down when you ask her for a date or maybe he'll
turn out to be a jerk if you accept. But, what are the possible benefits? You
might make a new friend, get that number or meet the mate you've been looking for.
Learn to succeed!
What if you could manage and reduce your risk? What if you could reduce
it to almost nothing? You can! Arm yourself with information. Buy that book,
read that article, ask that question - in short, get yourself educated.
On the other hand, don't WAIT until you ARE educated. Some people
use their education as an excuse. They spend their lives collecting
information, but never learn how to use it. Do you know that your doctor didn't
really know how to treat illness when he or she left school? They spent all
those years studying ABOUT diseases, symptoms and cures. They didn't spent much
time at all learning HOW to cure. That's where you come in. Every patient is a
As well, every new person you meet is a new experiment. Thus, gather up
information, knowledge and experience; keep track of what works and what
doesn't work - but GET TO WORK!
What do you have to lose?
Nobody likes to hear "no". Some people go out of their way to
avoid "no's", but not wise people. Many salespeople actually make it
their goal to get a certain number of "no's" everyday. Why would the
focus on this? Because, if you're going after a number of "no's", you
can't help but get "yes's" along the way.
Don't let fear rule your world - make it your ally. What do you have to
lose? Being alone on Saturday night!
Copyright (c) 2005 Dr. Dennis W. Neder
All rights reserved.
For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit:
P.O. Box 10702
Glendale, CA 91209-3702
Fax (818) 246-5431
About the author
uthor of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You
can write to me at firstname.lastname@example.org
for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's
World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com