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 Single's lifestyle 


Pass On Those Leads!

 By Dennis, Dr. Neder
 "Being a Man in a Woman's World"

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Have you ever met someone that you might have been interested in but changed your mind after a while? Perhaps he or she wasn't your "type", or he or she didn't really click with you or whatever. Or, perhaps you have a friend that you think might work well for someone else. Or, let's say that you met someone and actually went out with him or her once - maybe through a personal ad, or by being set-up by a friend, but you found that they weren't what you were looking for.

Why not pass this "lead" along to a friend?

We so often forget that we're not the only one looking to meet someone new. If you know of someone that might work for someone else, you don't really have to play matchmaker (and get in the way); just pass that lead along.

*What To Do If You Have A Lead

Ok, so you know someone that another friend or acquaintance may like - what do you do? You should first approach both people and get their permission before giving anyone personal information. Believe it or not there IS a protocol for such things!

First, check with BOTH people. All you have to do is tell them that you know someone that might "fit" their personality, and ask if they'd be interested in meeting that person. If not, just drop it and move on.

If they are interested, ask the person what information you can give to the other person. Is it ok to give a home telephone number, or is an email address acceptable? What about a person's last name? Obviously, if someone isn't interested in giving out any information, it's going to be impossible to help him or her meet.

Once you have the first person's permission, contact the second person quickly. Try to do this with a week or two at the most. Nothing creates more anxiety than expecting someone to call and moving on a month or more later, only to find that your information hasn't even been passed along yet!

When you contact this second person, ask them if they'd be interested in meeting someone that you think would be a good match. If so, ask them what information you can pass along, and give them the information of the other person. If not, contact the first person and explain why you couldn't pass their information along.

Next, get the hell out of the way!

*What To Do If You Get A Lead

If someone gives you a lead - even if you don't think you'd be interested, you should contact this person anyway. Why? Because your friend went out of their way to try to help you! If you just ignore it, don't expect any more leads from that friend.

When you get a lead from someone - don't wait a long time to contact the person! You should probably contact them within a week or so. Why? Because you don't know how long the person that gave you the lead was sitting on it. What if they've had it in their hands for 3 weeks? If you wait another week - it will have been a month since the first person was asked! Even if you're busy, you should at least contact the person and say hello. Explain to them that you're very busy right now, but you'd be interested in meeting them shortly.

Finally, like any other cold contact, take things slowly. Talk via email or by phone and get to know the other person. Find out if they have the same goals as you, and see if they match your "plan". (You do have a relationship plan don't you?) If and when you finally plan to meet, keep it short and simple. Meet for coffee or a drink and see if you "click". If not, don't be afraid to tell the person how you feel or set another date!

Another question I get asked is if a person that accepts a lead from someone is obligated to return the lead. No, you are not. That doesn't mean that you shouldn't return it if you can however. If everyone passed these leads on, everyone would be expanding their contact lists dramatically. And, this is just another way to meet the person of your dreams.


Copyright (c) 2005, Dr. Dennis W. Neder All rights reserved. Remington Publications For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com P.O. Box 10702 Glendale, CA 91209-3702 (818) 246-2058 Fax (818) 246-5431
About the author
uthor of: Being a Man in a Woman's World
Dedicated to advancing the arts and sciences of relationships.
Start having the relationships YOU deserve!
Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You
can write to me at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com
for answers. For more information about my book, "Being a Man in a Woman's
World", visit: www.remingtonpublications.com

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Article Overview
We so often forget that we're not the only one looking to meet someone new. If you know of someone that might work for someone else, you don't really have to play matchmaker (and get in the way); just pass that lead along.


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