Have you read a David DeAngelo newsletter before?
In them, he talks a lot about the idea of being "cocky and funny" to attract more women.
If you have never had much success with women before, and then you
start trying out the idea's of C&F, you probably had very postive
I know of guys, that after they read about cocky and funny, and apply it - are like:
"WHAT IS THIS VOODOO MAGIC?!!"
They are so blown away by the responses they get from girls, it's like C&F is a secret elixir that only they know about...
But I also notice that after a few months these same guys start getting frustrated.
The intial attraction they created with women no longer offers the same thrill.
They guys get used to it...
And they aren't totally happy with the level of success that they have.
They aren't getting laid all the time, they aren't getting
girlfriends, and even if they are approaching alot of girls - they
aren't consistently generating attraction.
On dates they use C&F, but find the "will you let me walk all over you" tests difficult to pass using verbal sparring.
Not everyone is a natural comedian, and if faced with situations
that they are not familiar with, they genuinly don't know what to do.
For instance, what would you have done in this story:
The other day, my friend Daniel went out to an Irish bar. A really great, laid back place to meet girls.
After chatting to a few different girls, he ended up getting the number of a VERY attractive Italian model.
Daniel is quite good with women, and he organised a time to call her
while he was still with her. As in "I'll call you tomorrow, what is the
best time to get you?"
By the way...
Saying this dramtically INCREASES the chances of her answering the
phone - and being receptive to talking without the "why are you calling
me" cold shoulder women are prone to throw. Because you get her to
commit to a time, she EXPECTS you to call.
Anyway, he called her up and organized the date: going to a nice eclectic style bar.
After meeting her and driving to where he needed to park - they were still a good 5 minute walk from the bar.
And, after walking 60 ft, he was met with the first "test" of the date.
This Italian girl was used to getting her way and very demanding.
So, after walking a short distance, she complained that it was too far.
"Daniel, my feet hurt, it's too far! Go and get your car and DRIVE ME to the bar."
So, what did he do?
What would you do?
If he were totally in the cocky and funny frame, he may have decided to engage some kind of verbal sparring.
However, in this scenario, Daniel took a different approach:
He told her to walk up a small set of stars that were on the side of
the road, and after bending down, instructed her to get on his
He then walked down the street with a beautiful Italian model on his shoulders, giggling and playing with his hair.
(apparently she was counting his grey hairs)
Anyway, his handling of this test was NOT cocky and funny - but it was very effective.
Here's another example:
The other day I was at a very upper class bar with my wing man. We
had sat down with 2 hotties and were attracting them fairly effectively
What we didn't know was that they were there with 2 proper "alpha" guys.
So, to get their girls away from us, did they engage me and my wingman?
Did they use some verbal sparring to establish dominance?
They swooped down behind where the girls were sitting, wrapped an
arm around their wastes - picked them up (while the girls giggled) and
walked away with them to a different bar.
And it was over.
Girls gone. On to the next girls for us.
Brief and totally effective.
What I am illustrating here, is that cocky and funny verbal play is important.
However, I believe C&F is a vehicle that David DeAngelo uses to
show men who have had difficulty attracting women, that they CAN be
successful with only their personality.
But, once you are past the early stages and have experienced the
attraction responses C&F can produce - you need to work on other
You need to understand WHY C&F works. You then need to ask yourself some questions.
What does C&F subcommunicate?
How can you subcommunicate the same thing in different ways?
Part of being an "alpha" type guy is doing things with brevity.
Don't say two sentences when you can say one. Don't talk when you can ACT.
To have more tricks in your bag than only C&F verbal play, you need to answer these questions.
And then you need to start applying the answers with women in your life...
Is it easy? Well, considering the payoff, it's not that hard.