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How-To-Date


Dealing with Mixed Messages in the Game of Love

 By Doc Love
  Women Don't Lie - Men Don't Listen

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Hi Doc,

I love your articles and writing style. I've been out on one date with this woman and I wanted to do things right, so I ordered the "System”. The problem is that your stuff probably won't get to me for a few days (maybe a week?) and I think I need help! Here are the facts:
We met, I asked for her number, waited a week and we made plans to meet downtown at an Orioles baseball game. Things went pretty well, except she was asking me a lot of questions and I couldn't seem to turn the tables on her. I felt like I was on the hot seat! I didn’t' tell her anything revealing and I tried to keep it light. I think I did okay because at one point she complimented me on my shirt and told me I reminded her of someone famous, although she couldn't remember who (hopefully, not Jack the Ripper!). Anyhow, the only downside was that the date seemed to end quickly due to the fact that we realized when we were leaving, that we were parked in totally opposite directions. I did offer to walk her to her car, but she said it was late and politely declined. Does this mean anything?
I definitely want to ask this woman out again and I have a couple of questions. Exactly how long should I wait to call after the first date and is it too much pressure to suggest that the next date be a Saturday night dinner date? Also, should I leave her a message if I get her answering service and wait to see if she calls me back or should I try to get her in person?

Isaiah – who appreciates any help you can give

Hi Isaiah,

First of all Isaiah, congratulations for having the patience and discipline to wait a full seven days to call this girl. The average guy with a hot phone number is like an un-housebroken puppy in a newly carpeted living room. It doesn't take long for him to lose control and when he does, he makes a big mess out of everything. Unlike those panting pups, you Isaiah used the most powerful dating strategy available to mankind, if he has the guts to use it - Challenge. When you give a woman some time to wonder why you haven't called, she's even more interested in you when you finally do. Holding back makes you more intriguing, mysterious and way more desirable!
I also commend you for working hard to keep the conversation focused on your date rather than yourself. Now here's a tip: When she's peppering you with questions and you find yourself getting uncomfortable, just ask her the same or a similar question to the one that she's just asked you. It's often easier than wracking your brain for new things to ask and it keeps you both on the same wavelength.
Also remember that curiosity is often a sign of high interest, so I'm glad your date was asking you lots of questions. Compare her behavior to all the women you've met who hardly asked you one thing about yourself. They make you wonder: "Gee is this girl totally lacking a personality or is it just me?"
Next, let me recommend that from now on you always pick your date up at her home. There are many reasons for doing this: 1) It's the chivalrous and gentlemanly thing to do. 2) You get to spend more time getting to know each other while driving together. 3) A woman who won't allow you to pick her up at her home is either uptight or has low Interest Level.
What you still should have done was to simply start walking your date to her car without asking her if it was OK. That way you appear to be confident and classy, and you can't be faulted for being protective of her. If she insists on going it alone, then it's even more clear that she's not even close to starting to think of you as her hero. You have to ask yourself: would a woman who likes and respects me not want me to walk her to her car late at night in a ballpark parking lot full of beer guzzling
crazies? When she "politely declined” your offer Isaiah, that was a big red flag. Her excuse for not having you escort her was "it’s late". Wait a minute. It's late? All the more reason for a lady to want a gentleman to escort her to her car. So obviously, you've gotten some mixed messages from this gal.
Your next step is to flush her out by getting her on the phone (do not leave any messages) and ask her out for a weeknight. Let her wonder whom you're saving your weekends for. That way you are seen as.... you guessed it...a Challenge. And make sure to ask her for her home address so you can pick her up. If she balks, as they say in baseball, it's time for you to bunt and tear up her phone number. Many women would argue and say, "but she hardly knows him". To those women I say: Have you ever let a guy pick you up at your house on the first date? Their honest answer would be: "Well, only when my Interest Level in him was high.”
Remember guys, a woman with high Interest Level is consistently positive and never gives you mixed signals in the game of love.


To send me your love questions or to find out more about The “System,” visit me at http://www.doclove.com Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, “Why do you stay with one man versus another?” © Copyright DocLove Dot Com
About the author
Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who coaches men in
his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do
you stay with one man versus another?"
Guys, e-mail me at doclove@doclove.com
with your love challenges. All will be answered, but because of space, only
letters of general interest will be printed. To find out more about The
"System" visit me at: www.doclove.com or
(800) 404-2644. Doc Love is a talk show host and entertainment speaker who
coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of
women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?"

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Article Overview
Next, let me recommend that from now on you always pick your date up at her home. There are many reasons for doing this: 1) It's the chivalrous and gentlemanly thing to do. 2) You get to spend more time getting to know each other while driving together. 3) A woman who won't allow you to pick her up at her home is either uptight or has low Interest Level.


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